Last weeks podcast discussed some different type of parenting styles. I’ve been reading a great book about parenting called Raising Emotionally Intelligent Children. This book gives a lot of great advice about how to help your child be aware of and in control of their emotions.

Within the book there is a section on parenting styles. I wanted to summarize those parenting styles in order to give you some more information as you consider what parenting style you use.

According to Dr. John Gottman, the author of Raising Emotionally Intelligent Children, there are 3 main styles of parenting.

Authoritarian: These parents set many strict limits and expect that their children will obey them. They are very good at providing structure. They are also stellar at holding their children accountable. However they generally lack the warmth and connection that their children need.

Permissive: This parenting style is the complete opposite of the Authoritarian. Permissive parents provide their children with lots of warmth and are very communicative toward their children. They are able to connect give their children a lot of freedom. Their children miss out on the structure and order that they need in their lives.

Authoritative: This parenting style does set limits and boundaries. They are different from the authoritarian parents in that they communicate with their children and the limits and rules are flexible. They do provide warmth and communication but are different from the permissive style of parenting because they do impose rules and expect them to be obeyed.

According to Dr. Gottman there has been a major movement toward this third style of parenting as a result of the understanding that we have developed about what parenting styles are best for our children.

If you are interested in purchasing this book you can find it here.

In the first Hope and Healing podcast, Jeff and I discussed how connecting with your kids is one of the essential tasks that you as a parent must accomplish to give your children the best chance of being successful. One of the best opportunities to connect with your kids is during meal times.

Here are some of the benefits of eating meals together as a family:

• It provides time for the family to talk about their day.
• It provides a consistent time that kids can count on where they will have access to their parents.
• A 1994 Low Harris-Reader’s Digest national poll of high school seniors showed higher scholastic scores among students who often ate meals with their families.
• Compared to teens that have frequent family dinners, those who rarely have family dinners are three-and-a-half times more likely to have abused prescription drugs or an illegal drug other than marijuana.1
• It provides opportunities for families to make plans together and for the family to be aware of each family member’s schedule.
• A 2004 study of teen emotional health showed that teens who often ate meals with their families earned higher grades and were less likely to show depressive symptoms.²

We all know that in today’s society it can be difficult to get the family together to eat meals. Especially with all of the extracurricular activities that teens are involved with today. The benefits of making family meals a habit, at least once a day are very compelling. Make an effort to establish this as a tradition that your family adheres to.

Sources

1 The Importance of Family Dinners IV, The National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse (CASA) at Columbia University, September 2007.

² Eisenberg, Marla E. et al. Correlations Between Family Meals and Psychosocial Well-being Among Adolescents, Arch Pediatr Adolesc Med. 2004; 158:792-796