Don’t engage in her repeated request.  If ‘no’ is ‘no’ then that should be the end of the discussion.  What your teen is trying to do is wear you out so you will give in.  So, don’t ever give in.  Your child wants to put you on trial to convince them why the answer to their request is no. You are not on trial, and you don’t have to convince them.

Pushing Boundaries in this way is learned behavior. Both you and your child are responsible for the behavior.  So, as a parent it is helpful to unlearn what you have done to encourage this behavior.  Every time you give in to them, after they wear you down, reinforces their behavior.

If your child continues to ask you and hound you, give them consequences.  When my clients or children begin to do this, I give them 20 minutes of “hassle chores” for each time they ask. I don’t argue with them, and I don’t engage in explanations. I am not on trial; I just enforce the consequences. 

A “hassle chore” is anything they can do such as: cleaning the toilet, the garage, organizing the pantry, washing base boards, etc.  Come up with a consequence that makes them think twice about repeating their request after you have said no. In closing, let me re-emphasize the importance of never giving in!

Tags: Parenting Help, Telling children no